KISS -- Keep it simple stupid!

Assembler:
You shoot yourself in the foot.

Ada:
The Department of Defence shoots you in the foot after offering you a
blindfold and a last cigarette.

APL:
GN < /FT^BLT

BASIC (interpreted):
You shoot yourself in the foot with a water-pistol until your leg is
water-logged and falls off.

BASIC (compiled):
You shoot yourself in the foot with an air-rifle pellet fired from a
SCUD missile launcher.

C:
You shoot yourself in the foot and then no one else can figure out what
you did.

C++:
You create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them all in the foot.
Not knowing which feet are virtual, medical care is impossible.

COBOL:
ENTER SHOOTING PROCEDURE:
	USE HANDGUN.COLT(45).
	AIM AT LEG.FOOT THEN
		WITH ARM.HAND.FINGER ON HANDGUN.COLT(TRIGGER)
	PERFORM SQUEEZE
		UNTIL LEG.FOOT IS SHOT
		WITH BULLET(45)
	RETURN HANDGUN.COLT(45) TO HIP.HOLSTER.
EXIT SHOOTING PROCEDURE.

csh:
After searching for the manual until your foot goes to sleep, you shoot
the computer and switch to C.

dBASE:
You buy a gun. Bullets are only available from another company and are
promised to work, so you buy them as well. Then you find out that the
next version of the gun is the one that is scheduled to actually shoot
bullets.

FORTRAN:
You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of toes.
You shoot the sixth bullet anyway, since no exception processing was
anticipated in the shooting algorithm.

Modula-2:
You perform a shooting on what might currently be a foot with what might
currently be a bullet, shot by what might currently be a gun.

Pascal:
You try to shoot yourself in the foot and discover that your foot is the
wrong type and out of range to boot!

PL/I:
After consuming all system resources, including bullets, the data
processing department doubles its size, and acquires two new mainframes
in the process, and drops the original machine (all 2 tonnes of it) on
your foot.

Smalltalk, Actor:
After you waste three weeks, playing with the graphics, the programming
manager shoots you in the head.

Snobol:
Grab your foot with your hand and rewrite your finger to be a bullet

Visual BASIC:
You attempt the same virtual shooting operation used with C++, except
you use a replica Uzi machine pistol. Since it is a replica, your foot
is quite safe. The bullets and the firing-pin, however, are real, so you
blow your hand off.