WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY
(A true story - from a Toronto Star article)

Two weeks ago, was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot

That morning anyway. I went into breakfast, knowing my wife would be
pleasant, Say Happy Birthday, and probably have a present for me. She
didn't even say Good Morning, let alone any Happy Birthday. I said,
well, that's wives for you. The children will remember. The children
came into breakfast and didn't say a word.

When I started to the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet said, "Good Morning
Boss, Happy Birthday. And I felt a little better, someone had
remembered. I worked until noon. About noon Janet knocked on my door and
said, You know it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday,
let's go to lunch, just you and me. I said, By George, that's the
greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go.

We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we went out into
the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed
lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, You know,
it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office. Do
we? I said, No, I guess not. She said, Let's go to my apartment. After
arriving at her apartment, we had another martini and smoked a cigarette
and she said, Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom
and slip into something more comfortable.

Sure, I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and in about five
minutes, she came back out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my
wife and children. All were singing Happy Birthday. And there I sat, on
the sofa with nothing on but my socks and a huge erection.